Comedy

tamed (tangled #3)

tamed (tangled #3)
Description

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: girl meets player, they fall in love, player changes his ways.

It’s a good story. But it’s not our story. Ours is a lot more colorful.

When I met Dee I knew right away that she was special. When she met me, she thought I was anything but special--I was exactly like every other guy who’d screwed her over and let her down. It took some time to convince her otherwise, but turns out I can make a convincing argument when sex is at stake.

You might know where this story’s headed. But the best part isn't where we ended up.

It’s how we got there.

Tamed goes back in time to the Tangled days. But this time around, it’s not Drew dishing out the advice and opinions – it’s his best friend Matthew, who of course is dealing with Dee Dee.

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night watch (discworld #29)

night watch (discworld #29)
Description

Night Watch (Discworld #29)

'Don't put your trust in revolutions. They always come round again. That's why they're called revolutions. People die, and nothing changes.'

For a policeman, there can be few things worse than a serial killer at loose in your city. Except, perhaps, a serial killer who targets coppers, and a city on the brink of bloody revolution. The people have found their voice at last, the flags and barricades are rising...And the question for a policeman, an officer of the law, adefender of the peace, is:

Are you with them, or are you against them?

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the amazing maurice and his educated rodents (discworld #28)

the amazing maurice and his educated rodents (discworld #28)
Description

The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents (Discworld #28)

The Barnes & Noble Review

With the debut of his first young-adult novel, science fiction writer Terry Pratchett invites readers ages 12 and up to visit Discworld -- an imaginary land well known to Pratchett's adult following. At the heart of this tale is a slightly twisted take on the old Pied Piper theme, a talking, thinking cat named Maurice, and a supporting cast of equally talented rats who bear such comical names as Big Savings, Nourishing, and Dangerous Beans.

Maurice and the rats have teamed up with a young lad named Keith to implement a clever moneymaking scheme. Upon entering a town, the rats make a general nuisance of themselves -- stealing food and widdling on things -- until the townsfolk become desperate to get rid of them. Then Maurice and Keith appear on the scene and offer to save the day by ridding the town of its infestation for a small fee. It seems like a surefire plan until the group arrives in the town of Bad Blintz and gets hooked up with Malicia, a young girl with a vivid imagination and a knack for finding trouble. When it's discovered that Bad Blintz already has a rat problem -- one that a couple of shifty-eyed rat catchers claim to have under control -- things turn deadly. For lurking beneath the town's streets is an obstacle course of mangling rattraps and noxious poisons. And beyond that is a monster so powerful and ugly, even Malicia couldn't imagine it.

As Maurice and the rats battle for their very survival, a number of provocative themes surface: life after death, good versus evil, and the sacrifice of the few for the many. But be forewarned -- those in search of lighter fare in these troubled times may not find what they are looking for in Pratchett's vision Despite plenty of razor-sharp wit and lighthearted moments, this tale has an underbelly as dark as the tunnels beneath Bad Blintz. Though The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents is deeply witty and engaging, some readers may find parts of the story -- descriptions of how some of the rats die and how others eat their dead -- rather intense. (Beth Amos)

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the birthday ball

the birthday ball
Description

The Birthday Ball

by Lois Lowry , Jules Feiffer (Illustrator)

Princess Patricia Priscilla is bored with her royal life and the excitement surrounding her sixteenth birthday ball. Doomed to endure courtship by three grotesquely unappealing noblemen, she escapes her fate—for a week. Disguised as a peasant, she attends the village school as the smart new girl, “Pat,” and attracts friends and the attention of the handsome schoolmaster. Disgusting suitors, lovable peasants, and the clueless king and queen collide at the ball, where Princess Patricia Priscilla calls the shots. What began as a cure for boredom becomes a chance for Princess Patricia Priscilla to break the rules and marry the man she loves.

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the last hero (discworld #27)

the last hero (discworld #27)
Description

The Last Hero (Discworld #27)

Cohen the Barbarian. He's been a legend in his own lifetime.

He can remember the good old days of high adventure, when being a Hero meant one didn't have to worry about aching backs and lawyers and civilization. But these days, he can't always remember just where he put his teeth...So now, with his ancient (yet still trusty) sword and new walking stick in hand, Cohen gathers a group of his old -- very old -- friends to embark on one final quest. He's going to climb the highest mountain of Discworld and meet t...

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practical demonkeeping

practical demonkeeping
Description

Travis was born in 1900, yet he has not aged since 1919, because he accidentally called up a demon from hell named Catch as his servant, presumably forever. Ever since then, Travis has been trying to get rid of Catch, but is unable to do so because he has lost the repository of the necessary incantations. He traces their whereabouts to a fictional town called Pine Cove, along Big Sur coast, where he thinks the woman he gave them to may be residing. Interactions with the townspeople and with a djinn, who is pursuing Catch, create considerable complications.

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pyramids

pyramids
Description

Pyramids (Discworld #7)

It's bad enough being new on the job, but Teppic hasn't a clue as to what a pharaoh is supposed to do. After all, he's been trained at Ankh-Morpork's famed assassins' school, across the sea from the Kingdom of the Sun. First, there's the monumental task of building a suitable resting place for Dad -- a pyramid to end all pyramids. Then there are the myriad administrative duties, such as dealing with mad priests, sacred crocodiles, and marching mummies. And to top it all off, the adolescent pharaoh discovers deceit, betrayal - not to mention a headstrong handmaiden - at the heart of his realm.


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437128

reaper man (discworld #11)

reaper man (discworld #11)
Description

Reaper Man (Discworld #11)

'Death has to happen. Tha'ts what bein' alive is all about. You're alive, and then you're dead. It can't just stop happening.'

But it can. And it has. So what happens after death is now less of a philosophical question than a question of actual reality. On the disc, as here, they need Death. If Death doesn't come for you, then what are you supposed to do in the meantime? You can't have the undead wandering about like lost souls. There's no telling what might happen, particularly when they discover that life really is only for the living...

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rusty nailed

rusty nailed
Description

Read Rusty Nailed (Cocktail #2) Online, Free Novels Online, Read Book Online, Listen Novels Online
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screwdrivered

screwdrivered
Description

Read Screwdrivered (Cocktail #3) Online, Free Novels Online, Read Book Online, Listen Novels Online
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seduction and snacks (chocolate lovers #1)

seduction and snacks (chocolate lovers #1)
Description

Warning #1: This book is not to be taken seriously. Do not read this if you don't have the sense of humor of a 15 year old boy. Do not read this if you ARE a fifteen year old boy. This book is totally crude and inappropriate and uses the word "vagina" a lot. No, I mean A LOT. If you don't think people who are drunk are hilarious, you shouldn't read this book. You probably shouldn't read this book if you aren't drunk yourself. You should probably just put this book down and get drunk. You may think that no one in the world talks like the people in this book, but they do. They are called "people who are funny and inappropriate". This book is completely unrealistic; the author is aware of that fact and did it on purpose.

2012 Goodreads Choice Award Nominee - Best Romance

Claire is a twenty-something, single mom that grudgingly helps her best friend sell sex toys while she attempts to make enough money to start her own business to give her foul-mouthed, but extremely loveable (when he’s asleep) toddler a better life.

When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time.

With Carter’s undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire’s panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.

Warning #2: contains explicit sex, profanity and enough sarcasm to choke a horse.

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142438

shame on me (fool me once #2)

shame on me (fool me once #2)
Description

Shame on Me (Fool Me Once #2)

Ex-model Paige McCarty is fed up with being just a pretty face. After her ex-husband’s gambling problem left her royally screwed and tragically shoeless, she started Fool Me Once Investigations with her best friends, Lorlei and Kennedy, to prevent other women from being similarly played and dismayed.

The job: act as bait for a cheating husband. The target: Matt Russo. The case should be as easy as getting a man’s attention—and Paige has never had trouble with that. The problem is Matt—in all his nerdy-hot glory—turns out to be not such a scumbag after all.

And when the case hits closer to home than Paige could ever have imagined—landing her in a face-off with the mob—she wonders if taking the job just to prove that she has a brain maybe wasn’t her best idea.

This second outing for the Fool Me Once team follows in the same fun, feisty footsteps as bestselling author Tara Sivec’s Shame on You.

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shame on you (fool me once #1)

shame on you (fool me once #1)
Description

Shame on You (Fool Me Once #1)

War veteran Kennedy O’Brien is in the business of sticking it to the man—or at least any man who tries to cross a woman. After she returned home from Afghanistan and caught her husband in bed with the nanny, Kennedy lost her faith in men and started Fool Me Once Investigations with her two best friends. After all, there’s no better bounty hunter than a woman scorned.

When Kennedy takes a case to slap cuffs on a bail jumper turned dog-napper, she figures it’ll be an easy paycheck. But trouble has a way of finding Kennedy. Enter the last man on the planet she’d willingly choose as a partner: her cheating ex-husband’s best friend, Griffin Crawford.

As gorgeous as he is unwelcome, Griffin has always had a thing for Kennedy, and after keeping quiet about her ex’s cheating, he’ll do anything to earn back her trust. Whether or not she wants to admit it, Kennedy will need help as the case of the Chihuahua thief spirals out of control. Griffin may be just her man—in more ways than one.

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skipping christmas

skipping christmas
Description

Imagine a year without Christmas. No crowded shops, no corny office parties, no fruitcakes, no unwanted presents. That's just what Luther and Nora Krank have in mind when they decide that, just this once, they'll skip the holiday altogether. Theirs will be the only house on the street without a rooftop Frosty the snowman; they won't be hosting their annual Christmas Eve bash; they aren't even going to have a tree. They won't need one, because come December 25 they're setting sail on a Caribbean cruise. But, as this weary couple is about to discover, skipping Christmas brings enormous consequences - and isn't half as easy as they'd imagined.

A classic tale for modern times, Skipping Christmas offers a hilarious look at the chaos and frenzy that has become part of our holiday tradition.

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367689

small gods (discworld #13)

small gods (discworld #13)
Description

Small Gods (Discworld #13)

Just because you can't explain it, doesn't mean it's a miracle.' Religion is a controversial business in the Discworld. Everyone has their own opinion, and indeed their own gods. Who come in all shapes and sizes. In such a competitive environment, there is a pressing need to make one's presence felt. And it's certainly not remotely helpful to be reduced to be appearing in the form of a tortoise, a manifestation far below god-like status in anyone's book. In such instances, you need an acolyte, and fast. Preferably one who won't ask too many questions...

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465655